So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
