the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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