I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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