it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You took a bar mat shot.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
