You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
