You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
