OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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