so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I got inside last night via doggy door
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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