return my video game
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
