high people should be assigned attendants
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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