i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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