I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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