All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
