Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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