from now on my penis is your penis
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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