sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
