you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
