There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
