I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
