brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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