i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
