I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
