Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
