But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
