Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
