You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
