If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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