hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
