just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
