yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
