Your tits are I can't wait for
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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