Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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