I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
