some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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