I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Alive.
So much puke
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Your penis caused this!
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