I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
