I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
