i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
