It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
