So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
