Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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