She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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