I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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