then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
