ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
