hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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