Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Randomize
