Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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