dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
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