no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
