Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
