im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
