Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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